College Life

  • Easy or Hard?​

A: I don't know which class to register for.

B: You should pick the class you need.

A: I know I need a science class.

B: I would take biology with Mr. Green.

A: It's a challenging yet fun class.

B: I don't like challenges.

A: Why are you in college then?

B: My mom forced me to enroll.

A: You should go to a vocational school instead.

B: I don't think you understand. My mom is scary.

A: Okay, fine. I recommend Earth Science 125 with Mr. Anderson.

B: Thanks for the recommendation!

  • A Restriction

A: I am so upset.

B: Oh, no. Talk to me about it.

A: I can't register for a class I really need.

B: Is it full?

A: I have a hold on my record, because my library books were overdue.

B: Can't you just pay the overdue fees?

A: I can't afford it. I'm totally broke.

B: How much do you need?

A: I need $50.

B: Wow, you must have kept those books long past the due date.

A: Yes, I know I am horrible.

B: I'll lend you the money.

  • The Quiet Student

A: Hi, I'm James. What's your name?

B: Hi James. My name is Lisa.

A: I'm taking this class because it seems interesting. Why are you?

B: I'm taking this class because it's a requirement.

A: We should get to know each other.

B: I don't think so. I like keeping to myself.

A: So you don't like meeting new students?

B: Nope. I would rather just be alone.

A: That is so sad!

B: It's not. It's really peaceful and self-empowering.

A: Can we at least study together?

B: Nope, we can't do that.

  • Finding the Classroom

A: It takes me hours to find my classroom.

B: I might be able to help you.

A: Really? That would be great!

B: What's your classroom number?

A: My classroom number is A21.

B: So the "A" is the building type.

A: Okay, but I don't know where that is.

B: Do you know where the gym is?

A: Yeah, I do.

B: Okay, your classroom is behind the gym.

A: That's really helpful! Thank you.

B: No problem, and the "21" means it's upstairs.


  • Buying Textbooks

A: I can't spend anymore money after I buy my English textbook.

B: How much is your English textbook?

A: It's $198. I'm not kidding.

B: That's ridiculously expensive! What's the title of the textbook?

A: It's called How to Write Well.

B: Dude, someone is selling that book for $30.

A: No way. What edition is it?

B: I think it was the 10th edition.

A: Oh, no wonder he or she is selling it for only $30.

B: What edition do you need?

A: I need the 21st edition.

B: The publisher seems to be really making money, considering the number of editions.

  • Professor Hernandez

A: I hate Professor Hernandez!

B: Me too! He keeps calling me stupid!

A: You think that's bad? He gave me an F, because I double spaced my essay!

B: But every professor wants essays double spaced. He's crazy!

A: Professor Hernandez is weird. He wants essays triple spaced.

B: That's just a waste of paper. Why does he like triple spacing?

A: He says it's because he has to make a lot of corrections, because we're stupid.

B: We should start a petition, and get him fired!

A: We should, but he can find out.

B: I know. If he found out, he would ruin everyone's life.

A: He is so evil.

B: That's why this petition has to work!

  • A Busy Professor

A: Hey, Professor Hill.

B: What is it?

A: I've been having trouble with derivatives.

B: That's not good. There's a test on derivatives next week.

A: I know. Can I make an appointment with you for some help?

B: I'm a busy man.

A: You didn't even check your schedule yet!

B: I know I'm busy, because many people already made appointments.

A: So I'm hopeless?

B: Of course not! There's the tutoring center.

A: But the tutors are not professors. They're just students.

B: They might surprise you.

  • Turning Homework in Late

A: May I turn in my homework tomorrow?

B: It's due today.

A: I know, but I don't have it right now.

B: How come? Your dog ate it?

A: No! I left it at home.

B: I can't take your word for it.

A: Why not? I'm an A+ student.

B: How do I know if you even did the homework?

A: I'll ask my mom to take a picture of it and send it to me.

B: That's fair enough.

A: Thanks. Also, you should try trusting students more. We're not all that bad.

B: I'll try, but I can't promise anything.

  • An Honest Student

A: I have to tell you something.

B: What is it?

A: You graded my test incorrectly. I got this wrong, but you didn't mark it.

B: Wow! I have never met a more honest student.

A: I just felt wrong.

B: Just keep the score you have.

A: Really? That's awesome.

B: Yes. I have to ask, why did you decide to tell me?

A: I'm really bad at lying.

B: That's a good thing! Your honesty is praiseworthy.

A: Thanks. Want to give me extra credit?

B: Don't push it.

  • Borrowing Class Notes

A: Can I borrow your class notes from yesterday's lecture?

B: Heck no! You're so lazy.

A: What are you talking about? I was sick yesterday.

B: I don't care. Ask someone else.

A: You're so mean!

B: I can't let anyone borrow my class notes.

A: Why not? They're just notes.

B: I let a classmate borrow my notes once, and she sold copies to people.

A: That's crazy! For how much?

B: She sold each class note set for $5.

A: Don't worry, I promise not to sell your notes.

B: I can't take your word for it.

  • 90% is a B

A: I think your grading policy is unfair.

B: I beg your pardon?!

A: Why is a 90% a B?

B: I'm trying to challenge you guys.

A: That's not a challenge, that's a punishment.

B: I've had this policy since I started teaching.

A: It's time for a change.

B: I'm not changing my policy because you don't like it.

A: Put yourself in my shoes.

B: I have been a student once, and I think my policy is fair.

A: I'm going to drop your class!

B: Go ahead! Less for me to grade!

  • Rounding it Up

A: I have a 89.5%.

B: Okay, so what?

A: It's really close to an A.

B: You know I don't round up.

A: But I really need a 4.0 GPA.

B: You get what you deserve.

A: I know I deserve an A. I always do great work and participate.

B: I can't change it.

A: Please? I'll wash your car.

B: Are you bribing me?

A: I just want an A.

B: I'll give you a C if you don't leave now.

  • Being Absent

A: Why were you absent yesterday?

B: Why do you care?

A: You should be thankful I care so much about your education.

B: The truth is, I didn't hear the alarm clock.

A: You missed out on a very important lecture.

B: It happens. I'll just ask my friend what was on the lecture.

A: Is she a good note taker?

B: I don't know. I guess?

A: If you were in class, you wouldn't have to rely on anyone's notes.

B: I can't change the past.

A: I know. Anyways, you should increase the volume on your alarm clock.

B: I suppose I could do that.

  • Leaving School

A: I have to leave class early tomorrow.

B: I don't like that. Just don't come to class.

A: Don't be like that, Professor! I have to attend my mom's funeral.

B: I'm sorry for your loss.

A: It's okay. I'm going to miss her.

B: I lost my mom when I was in college, too.

A: Saddest thing ever, right?

B: Yes. You know what? Take a week off school.

A: I can't do that. I have too many responsibilities.

B: Take my advice.

A: I'll think about it.

B: If you ever need to talk, my door is open.

  • In Need of a Counselor

A: I would like to see my counselor now.

B: Sorry, she doesn't have any time today.

A: Are you serious?

B: Yes, I am. Please make an appointment for next week.

A: I really need to see her.

B: I'm sorry, but you really can't.

A: I swear, I will bang on her door and scream.

B: Don't make a scene.

A: If you don't want me to make a scene, tell the counselor I'm here.

B: Fine! You can only talk to her for five minutes, though.

A: That's all I need.

B: Next time, you'd better make an appointment.

  • Talking to a Counselor

A: I'm glad you came to talk to me today.

B: You kind of forced me to.

A: That's because I'm worried.

B: What are you worried about?

A: You withdrew from 4 of your 5 classes last semester.

B: I was doing poorly!

A: And why was that exactly?

B: It was just too hard.

A: You're really behind now. You might have to spend 6 years here.

B: Can't I just take summer classes?

A: Yes, but you don't want to stress yourself out.

B: I don't really have a choice.

  • Adding a Class

A: I'm thinking of adding another class.

B: Another one? You already have 7 classes.

A: I know, but I really want to add Psychology 101. It seems interesting.

B: You're going to be so stressed out.

A: I think I can handle 8 classes.

B: Seriously? You're going to be constantly in class or studying.

A: I know, but it's worth it.

B: Tell me that when I'm partying and you're not.

A: How many classes are you taking? Two?

B: Haha! You're funny. I'm taking three.

A: That's so little. Don't you feel like an underachiever?

B: Remind me again why we're friends.

  • Writing Workshop

A: Want to go to the writing workshop with me today?

B: Nah man, my writing skills is tight.

A: You mean "are" instead of "is," right?

B: Yeah, of course!

A: You should come with me. Our college has great workshops.

B: I don't want to look stupid.

A: You won't. You look stupid using incorrect grammar.

B: Fine. How long is the workshop?

A: It's about an hour.

B: I don't think my attention span is more than 5 minutes.

A: Don't worry, I'll pinch you to wake you up.

B: That's a clever idea.

  • Studying Abroad

A: I'm planning to study abroad this summer.

B: Cool! Where are you going?

A: I'm going to Italy.

B: What are you studying there?

A: I'm taking a cooking class.

B: That sounds interesting.

A: I'm excited to learn in a totally new environment.

B: Italy seems beautiful.

A: It's beautiful in the pictures I've seen.

B: Take a lot when you're there.

A: I will, and I'll study hard, too.

B: Also, learn some Italian while you're there.

  • Job Fair

A: I hope I can find a job after graduation.

B: What is your major?

A: My major is geology.

B: Geology majors aren't very high in demand, but you'll do fine.

A: What makes you say that?

B: You're smart and likeable. Don't worry.

A: Thanks, but I'm still scared.

B: Oh, hey! You should go to the job fair.

A: We have that here?

B: Yes. Take advantage of it.

A: Have you ever been there?

B: Yes, and it's really helpful. Dress nicely!

  • A Restaurant by the College

A: I am so sick of dining hall food.

B: Me too! It's so unhealthy.

A: We should go to a restaurant nearby.

B: Want to go to Health Nut?

A: What a funny name!

B: I like it!

A: Do they sell nuts?

B: I'm not sure. Anyways, I want to try their organic tofu.

A: I'm allergic to tofu.

B: That's okay! They serve a wide variety of food.

A: Great! I'm just glad we're not eating dining hall food.

B: Me too. Let's go!

  • Vending Machine Problems

A: Why are you taking so long? Is something wrong?

B: Sorry, my bag of chips got stuck.

A: Vending machines suck, huh?

B: They're the worst, but the food is great.

A: It might come out if someone buys an item from the same column yours is on.

B: Can you be that "someone?"

A: Sure, why not? I could use some chips.

B: Thanks! Hey, what is your name?

A: My name is Charlie.

B: Nice to meet you, Charlie.

A: What is your name?

B: Hater of Vending Machines.

  • Forgetting Your Student ID

A: I would like to purchase the book for Sociology 130.

B: May I see your student ID?

A: I didn't know we needed it.

B: Please go get your ID, and get in line again.

A: But I waited in line for two hours!

B: I'm sorry, but you need a student ID to purchase textbooks here.

A: Are there any other options?

B: Show me proof that you're a student at this college, and you'll be good.

A: I have my report card. Here it is.

B: This will do. Nice grades by the way.

A: Thanks! I worked very hard for them.

B: Good luck with this semester.

  • The Overdue Hold

A: Wow! Your books are over the due date by one month.

B: It would have been longer if there wasn't a hold on my record.

A: What kind of hold is on your record?

B: A hold that won't let me go to the college football game.

A: Oh, that's tough.

B: Yeah. My girlfriend is actually a cheerleader, and so I have to go.

A: You're not going to like what I'm going to say.

B: What is it?

A: I can't remove the hold even if you pay the overdue fee.

B: Is it a technical error?

A: I don't know! I just can't remove it!

B: If my girlfriend breaks up with me, I'm blaming you.

  • Post-Undergraduate Plans

A: What do you plan to do after you graduate from here?

B: I'm planning to go to medical school. You?

A: I'm planning to teach English in underprivileged countries.

B: That's really kind of you.

A: Thanks. The first country I'm teaching in is Kenya.

B: While you're at Kenya, I'll be studying for medical school.

A: What kind of doctor do you want to be?

B: I want to be a pediatrician.

A: Because you like kids?

B: I don't really have a good reason. I just think I'll be good at it.

A: You should do what you love, not necessarily what you're good at.

B: That is very cheesy advice.

  • Purchasing a Parking Permit

A: The parking permit is $200 per semester, right?

B: It's actually $300.

A: Why?! That's ridiculous.

B: It's because of the budget cuts.

A: That's a terrible excuse.

B: It's the truth.

A: Give me something better than that.

B: Miss, if you don't want to pay, then don't.

A: This is so stressful.

B: I advise writing a letter to the dean.

A: I bet he'll just throw it away.

B: You would be surprised.

  • Parking Issue

A: Do you have a car on campus?

B: No, because it's hard to find parking here.

A: How do you get to places then?

B: I walk or take the bus.

A: That's crazy! I could never do that.

B: You should. It's great for the environment.

A: That's true. What do you do for fun then?

B: There's a lot of stuff to do around campus.

A: I never realized.

B: You should do some exploring.

A: You convinced me. I won't bring my car this semester.

B: We can walk to places together now!

  • Fighting a Parking Ticket

A: You know you can't park here, right?

B: Listen, I had to talk to my friend really quickly, and there was no parking spaces.

A: I'm going to have to give you a ticket.

B: I'm a broke college student.

A: And I'm a broke police officer. Deal with it.

B: Can't you just let me off with a warning?

A: No way. I have to be firm with you.

B: I'll buy you a box of donuts.

A: You have got to be kidding me.

B: I thought all cops liked donuts.

A: That's a stereotype. You should really learn to be quiet.

B: I'll stay quiet if you let me off with a warning.

  • Sports

A: I'm thinking of joining a sports club on campus.

B: You should! It takes away the stress of studying.

A: What sport do you play?

B: I actually play on our university's baseball team.

A: That's cool! You must be really good.

B: Yeah, I have a baseball scholarship.

A: No wonder you're in such great shape!

B: You'll be in great shape too after joining a sports club.

A: I'm thinking of joining the tennis club.

B: I wouldn't if I were you. The members don't even play tennis.

A: What do they do then?

B: They just talk about tennis. They never even touched a racket, though.

  • Clubs

A: College is so boring. All I do is go to class.

B: You should join some clubs.

A: Are you a part of any clubs?

B: Yes! I am currently in the Animal Lovers Club and the Knitting Club.

A: What do you do in the Animal Lovers Club?

B: We do a lot of things! Last week, we walked dogs.

A: That sounds fun. What's the wildest animal you ever interacted with?

B: I touched a dodo bird a couple weeks ago.

A: Dodo birds are extinct.

B: I'm just messing with you!

A: You're silly! Okay, I'll join the Animal Lovers Club.

B: Great! We always welcome new members.

  • Early Morning Class

A: I have to go to bed early.

B: Why? The night is still young!

A: I have a class at 7 a.m.

B: That's tough! My earliest class is at 9 a.m.

A: That sounds amazing to me.

B: How do you stay awake in that class?

A: Before I go to class, I drink four cups of coffee and take a cold shower.

B: Interesting routine. Does it work?

A: Kind of. It's better than not doing it at all.

B: Why are you taking that class?

A: It's only offered once a year, so I have to take it now.

B: I hope the class is interesting, at least.

  • A Bad Roommate

A: I hate my roommate.

B: I'm sorry to hear that. What's wrong with her?

A: A lot of things. First of all, she snores so loudly!

B: That's not really her fault. What else?

A: She never takes a shower.

B: That's disgusting! You should tell her to take a shower.

A: I did! She got mad at me and then proceeded to slap me.

B: Ouch! Did you try to get a new roommate?

A: I tried, but I could not. No one was willing to switch.

B: I guess you can get a new room by yourself.

A: I can't afford it. Ugh, I hate her so much.

B: It's okay. The year will be over before you know it.

  • Homesick

A: Are you okay? You look really sad.

B: I'm homesick. I feel so out of place here.

A: But this college is so awesome.

B: I know, but I really miss home.

A: How far do you live?

B: Far. Let's just say I need an airplane to get there.

A: It's almost winter break. Hang in there.

B: I don't think I can handle it anymore.

A: Try calling your friends and family from your hometown.

B: I don't want them to worry about me.

A: Just call them. Don't you want to stop feeling sad?

B: Okay, I'll call them now.

  • Changing Majors

A: I was wondering if I could change my major from biology to political science.

B: Those majors are very different from each other.

A: I know, but I hate biology. I can't see myself studying it anymore.

B: You can change it, but you'll have to take more classes.

A: I don't mind. Political science is really interesting to me.

B: You would be graduating a year late.

A: Oh, no. I have to think a little more about this then.

B: I think you should change it, since you hate biology.

A: Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry I am so indecisive.

B: A lot of people change majors. It's normal.

A: But not as late as I did. I hate that I'm graduating after all my friends.

B: You're making the right choice.

  • Dropping Out

A: I have decided to drop out of college.

B: You're making the worst decision of your life.

A: I just don't get the point of college. It's just memorizing.

B: What are you going to do then?

A: I'm going to get a job!

B: As what? A burger flipper?

A: Don't be mean. I'm going to be rich and successful when I'm older.

B: It's almost impossible to be rich and successful without a college degree.

A: Look at Steve Jobs! He dropped out of college.

B: He's a rare case.

A: Watch me prove you wrong.

B: I'd like to see you try.

  • Freshman 15

A: I gained so much weight because my college dining hall is all-you-can-eat.

B: It's called the "freshman 15."

A: What is that exactly?

B: It's an expression to refer to the observation that many college freshmen gain weight.

A: Oh, I see. I definitely got the freshman 15 then.

B: You should use your college's gym.

A: I never have time.

B: Oh, please! You just have to make time.

A: I guess I should set an hour to work out.

B: That's the attitude I like to hear!

A: Did you gain any weight?

B: Yeah, I just wear big clothes to hide my fat.