Easy or Hard?
A: I don't know which class to register for.
B: You should pick the class you need.
A: I know I need a science class.
B: I would take biology with Mr. Green.
A: It's a challenging yet fun class.
B: I don't like challenges.
A: Why are you in college then?
B: My mom forced me to enroll.
A: You should go to a vocational school instead.
B: I don't think you understand. My mom is scary.
A: Okay, fine. I recommend Earth Science 125 with Mr. Anderson.
B: Thanks for the recommendation!
A: I am so upset.
B: Oh, no. Talk to me about it.
A: I can't register for a class I really need.
B: Is it full?
A: I have a hold on my record, because my library books were overdue.
B: Can't you just pay the overdue fees?
A: I can't afford it. I'm totally broke.
B: How much do you need?
A: I need $50.
B: Wow, you must have kept those books long past the due date.
A: Yes, I know I am horrible.
B: I'll lend you the money.
The Quiet Student
A: Hi, I'm James. What's your name?
B: Hi James. My name is Lisa.
A: I'm taking this class because it seems interesting. Why are you?
B: I'm taking this class because it's a requirement.
A: We should get to know each other.
B: I don't think so. I like keeping to myself.
A: So you don't like meeting new students?
B: Nope. I would rather just be alone.
A: That is so sad!
B: It's not. It's really peaceful and self-empowering.
A: Can we at least study together?
B: Nope, we can't do that.
Finding the Classroom
A: It takes me hours to find my classroom.
B: I might be able to help you.
A: Really? That would be great!
B: What's your classroom number?
A: My classroom number is A21.
B: So the "A" is the building type.
A: Okay, but I don't know where that is.
B: Do you know where the gym is?
A: Yeah, I do.
B: Okay, your classroom is behind the gym.
A: That's really helpful! Thank you.
B: No problem, and the "21" means it's upstairs.
A: I can't spend anymore money after I buy my English textbook.
B: How much is your English textbook?
A: It's $198. I'm not kidding.
B: That's ridiculously expensive! What's the title of the textbook?
A: It's called How to Write Well.
B: Dude, someone is selling that book for $30.
A: No way. What edition is it?
B: I think it was the 10th edition.
A: Oh, no wonder he or she is selling it for only $30.
B: What edition do you need?
A: I need the 21st edition.
B: The publisher seems to be really making money, considering the number of editions.
A: I hate Professor Hernandez!
B: Me too! He keeps calling me stupid!
A: You think that's bad? He gave me an F, because I double spaced my essay!
B: But every professor wants essays double spaced. He's crazy!
A: Professor Hernandez is weird. He wants essays triple spaced.
B: That's just a waste of paper. Why does he like triple spacing?
A: He says it's because he has to make a lot of corrections, because we're stupid.
B: We should start a petition, and get him fired!
A: We should, but he can find out.
B: I know. If he found out, he would ruin everyone's life.
A: He is so evil.
B: That's why this petition has to work!
A Busy Professor
A: Hey, Professor Hill.
B: What is it?
A: I've been having trouble with derivatives.
B: That's not good. There's a test on derivatives next week.
A: I know. Can I make an appointment with you for some help?
B: I'm a busy man.
A: You didn't even check your schedule yet!
B: I know I'm busy, because many people already made appointments.
A: So I'm hopeless?
B: Of course not! There's the tutoring center.
A: But the tutors are not professors. They're just students.
B: They might surprise you.
Turning Homework in Late
A: May I turn in my homework tomorrow?
B: It's due today.
A: I know, but I don't have it right now.
B: How come? Your dog ate it?
A: No! I left it at home.
B: I can't take your word for it.
A: Why not? I'm an A+ student.
B: How do I know if you even did the homework?
A: I'll ask my mom to take a picture of it and send it to me.
B: That's fair enough.
A: Thanks. Also, you should try trusting students more. We're not all that bad.
B: I'll try, but I can't promise anything.
An Honest Student
A: I have to tell you something.
B: What is it?
A: You graded my test incorrectly. I got this wrong, but you didn't mark it.
B: Wow! I have never met a more honest student.
A: I just felt wrong.
B: Just keep the score you have.
A: Really? That's awesome.
B: Yes. I have to ask, why did you decide to tell me?
A: I'm really bad at lying.
B: That's a good thing! Your honesty is praiseworthy.
A: Thanks. Want to give me extra credit?
B: Don't push it.
Borrowing Class Notes
A: Can I borrow your class notes from yesterday's lecture?
B: Heck no! You're so lazy.
A: What are you talking about? I was sick yesterday.
B: I don't care. Ask someone else.
A: You're so mean!
B: I can't let anyone borrow my class notes.
A: Why not? They're just notes.
B: I let a classmate borrow my notes once, and she sold copies to people.
A: That's crazy! For how much?
B: She sold each class note set for $5.
A: Don't worry, I promise not to sell your notes.
B: I can't take your word for it.
90% is a B
A: I think your grading policy is unfair.
B: I beg your pardon?!
A: Why is a 90% a B?
B: I'm trying to challenge you guys.
A: That's not a challenge, that's a punishment.
B: I've had this policy since I started teaching.
A: It's time for a change.
B: I'm not changing my policy because you don't like it.
A: Put yourself in my shoes.
B: I have been a student once, and I think my policy is fair.
A: I'm going to drop your class!
B: Go ahead! Less for me to grade!
Rounding it Up
A: I have a 89.5%.
B: Okay, so what?
A: It's really close to an A.
B: You know I don't round up.
A: But I really need a 4.0 GPA.
B: You get what you deserve.
A: I know I deserve an A. I always do great work and participate.
B: I can't change it.
A: Please? I'll wash your car.
B: Are you bribing me?
A: I just want an A.
B: I'll give you a C if you don't leave now.
A: Why were you absent yesterday?
B: Why do you care?
A: You should be thankful I care so much about your education.
B: The truth is, I didn't hear the alarm clock.
A: You missed out on a very important lecture.
B: It happens. I'll just ask my friend what was on the lecture.
A: Is she a good note taker?
B: I don't know. I guess?
A: If you were in class, you wouldn't have to rely on anyone's notes.
B: I can't change the past.
A: I know. Anyways, you should increase the volume on your alarm clock.
B: I suppose I could do that.
A: I have to leave class early tomorrow.
B: I don't like that. Just don't come to class.
A: Don't be like that, Professor! I have to attend my mom's funeral.
B: I'm sorry for your loss.
A: It's okay. I'm going to miss her.
B: I lost my mom when I was in college, too.
A: Saddest thing ever, right?
B: Yes. You know what? Take a week off school.
A: I can't do that. I have too many responsibilities.
B: Take my advice.
A: I'll think about it.
B: If you ever need to talk, my door is open.
In Need of a Counselor
A: I would like to see my counselor now.
B: Sorry, she doesn't have any time today.
A: Are you serious?
B: Yes, I am. Please make an appointment for next week.
A: I really need to see her.
B: I'm sorry, but you really can't.
A: I swear, I will bang on her door and scream.
B: Don't make a scene.
A: If you don't want me to make a scene, tell the counselor I'm here.
B: Fine! You can only talk to her for five minutes, though.
A: That's all I need.
B: Next time, you'd better make an appointment.
Talking to a Counselor
A: I'm glad you came to talk to me today.
B: You kind of forced me to.
A: That's because I'm worried.
B: What are you worried about?
A: You withdrew from 4 of your 5 classes last semester.
B: I was doing poorly!
A: And why was that exactly?
B: It was just too hard.
A: You're really behind now. You might have to spend 6 years here.
B: Can't I just take summer classes?
A: Yes, but you don't want to stress yourself out.
B: I don't really have a choice.
Adding a Class
A: I'm thinking of adding another class.
B: Another one? You already have 7 classes.
A: I know, but I really want to add Psychology 101. It seems interesting.
B: You're going to be so stressed out.
A: I think I can handle 8 classes.
B: Seriously? You're going to be constantly in class or studying.
A: I know, but it's worth it.
B: Tell me that when I'm partying and you're not.
A: How many classes are you taking? Two?
B: Haha! You're funny. I'm taking three.
A: That's so little. Don't you feel like an underachiever?
B: Remind me again why we're friends.
A: Want to go to the writing workshop with me today?
B: Nah man, my writing skills is tight.
A: You mean "are" instead of "is," right?
B: Yeah, of course!
A: You should come with me. Our college has great workshops.
B: I don't want to look stupid.
A: You won't. You look stupid using incorrect grammar.
B: Fine. How long is the workshop?
A: It's about an hour.
B: I don't think my attention span is more than 5 minutes.
A: Don't worry, I'll pinch you to wake you up.
B: That's a clever idea.
A: I'm planning to study abroad this summer.
B: Cool! Where are you going?
A: I'm going to Italy.
B: What are you studying there?
A: I'm taking a cooking class.
B: That sounds interesting.
A: I'm excited to learn in a totally new environment.
B: Italy seems beautiful.
A: It's beautiful in the pictures I've seen.
B: Take a lot when you're there.
A: I will, and I'll study hard, too.
B: Also, learn some Italian while you're there.
A: I hope I can find a job after graduation.
B: What is your major?
A: My major is geology.
B: Geology majors aren't very high in demand, but you'll do fine.
A: What makes you say that?
B: You're smart and likeable. Don't worry.
A: Thanks, but I'm still scared.
B: Oh, hey! You should go to the job fair.
A: We have that here?
B: Yes. Take advantage of it.
A: Have you ever been there?
B: Yes, and it's really helpful. Dress nicely!
A Restaurant by the College
A: I am so sick of dining hall food.
B: Me too! It's so unhealthy.
A: We should go to a restaurant nearby.
B: Want to go to Health Nut?
A: What a funny name!
B: I like it!
A: Do they sell nuts?
B: I'm not sure. Anyways, I want to try their organic tofu.
A: I'm allergic to tofu.
B: That's okay! They serve a wide variety of food.
A: Great! I'm just glad we're not eating dining hall food.
B: Me too. Let's go!
Vending Machine Problems
A: Why are you taking so long? Is something wrong?
B: Sorry, my bag of chips got stuck.
A: Vending machines suck, huh?
B: They're the worst, but the food is great.
A: It might come out if someone buys an item from the same column yours is on.
B: Can you be that "someone?"
A: Sure, why not? I could use some chips.
B: Thanks! Hey, what is your name?
A: My name is Charlie.
B: Nice to meet you, Charlie.
A: What is your name?
B: Hater of Vending Machines.
Forgetting Your Student ID
A: I would like to purchase the book for Sociology 130.
B: May I see your student ID?
A: I didn't know we needed it.
B: Please go get your ID, and get in line again.
A: But I waited in line for two hours!
B: I'm sorry, but you need a student ID to purchase textbooks here.
A: Are there any other options?
B: Show me proof that you're a student at this college, and you'll be good.
A: I have my report card. Here it is.
B: This will do. Nice grades by the way.
A: Thanks! I worked very hard for them.
B: Good luck with this semester.
The Overdue Hold
A: Wow! Your books are over the due date by one month.
B: It would have been longer if there wasn't a hold on my record.
A: What kind of hold is on your record?
B: A hold that won't let me go to the college football game.
A: Oh, that's tough.
B: Yeah. My girlfriend is actually a cheerleader, and so I have to go.
A: You're not going to like what I'm going to say.
B: What is it?
A: I can't remove the hold even if you pay the overdue fee.
B: Is it a technical error?
A: I don't know! I just can't remove it!
B: If my girlfriend breaks up with me, I'm blaming you.
A: What do you plan to do after you graduate from here?
B: I'm planning to go to medical school. You?
A: I'm planning to teach English in underprivileged countries.
B: That's really kind of you.
A: Thanks. The first country I'm teaching in is Kenya.
B: While you're at Kenya, I'll be studying for medical school.
A: What kind of doctor do you want to be?
B: I want to be a pediatrician.
A: Because you like kids?
B: I don't really have a good reason. I just think I'll be good at it.
A: You should do what you love, not necessarily what you're good at.
B: That is very cheesy advice.
Purchasing a Parking Permit
A: The parking permit is $200 per semester, right?
B: It's actually $300.
A: Why?! That's ridiculous.
B: It's because of the budget cuts.
A: That's a terrible excuse.
B: It's the truth.
A: Give me something better than that.
B: Miss, if you don't want to pay, then don't.
A: This is so stressful.
B: I advise writing a letter to the dean.
A: I bet he'll just throw it away.
B: You would be surprised.
A: Do you have a car on campus?
B: No, because it's hard to find parking here.
A: How do you get to places then?
B: I walk or take the bus.
A: That's crazy! I could never do that.
B: You should. It's great for the environment.
A: That's true. What do you do for fun then?
B: There's a lot of stuff to do around campus.
A: I never realized.
B: You should do some exploring.
A: You convinced me. I won't bring my car this semester.
B: We can walk to places together now!
Fighting a Parking Ticket
A: You know you can't park here, right?
B: Listen, I had to talk to my friend really quickly, and there was no parking spaces.
A: I'm going to have to give you a ticket.
B: I'm a broke college student.
A: And I'm a broke police officer. Deal with it.
B: Can't you just let me off with a warning?
A: No way. I have to be firm with you.
B: I'll buy you a box of donuts.
A: You have got to be kidding me.
B: I thought all cops liked donuts.
A: That's a stereotype. You should really learn to be quiet.
B: I'll stay quiet if you let me off with a warning.
A: I'm thinking of joining a sports club on campus.
B: You should! It takes away the stress of studying.
A: What sport do you play?
B: I actually play on our university's baseball team.
A: That's cool! You must be really good.
B: Yeah, I have a baseball scholarship.
A: No wonder you're in such great shape!
B: You'll be in great shape too after joining a sports club.
A: I'm thinking of joining the tennis club.
B: I wouldn't if I were you. The members don't even play tennis.
A: What do they do then?
B: They just talk about tennis. They never even touched a racket, though.
A: College is so boring. All I do is go to class.
B: You should join some clubs.
A: Are you a part of any clubs?
B: Yes! I am currently in the Animal Lovers Club and the Knitting Club.
A: What do you do in the Animal Lovers Club?
B: We do a lot of things! Last week, we walked dogs.
A: That sounds fun. What's the wildest animal you ever interacted with?
B: I touched a dodo bird a couple weeks ago.
A: Dodo birds are extinct.
B: I'm just messing with you!
A: You're silly! Okay, I'll join the Animal Lovers Club.
B: Great! We always welcome new members.
Early Morning Class
A: I have to go to bed early.
B: Why? The night is still young!
A: I have a class at 7 a.m.
B: That's tough! My earliest class is at 9 a.m.
A: That sounds amazing to me.
B: How do you stay awake in that class?
A: Before I go to class, I drink four cups of coffee and take a cold shower.
B: Interesting routine. Does it work?
A: Kind of. It's better than not doing it at all.
B: Why are you taking that class?
A: It's only offered once a year, so I have to take it now.
B: I hope the class is interesting, at least.
A Bad Roommate
A: I hate my roommate.
B: I'm sorry to hear that. What's wrong with her?
A: A lot of things. First of all, she snores so loudly!
B: That's not really her fault. What else?
A: She never takes a shower.
B: That's disgusting! You should tell her to take a shower.
A: I did! She got mad at me and then proceeded to slap me.
B: Ouch! Did you try to get a new roommate?
A: I tried, but I could not. No one was willing to switch.
B: I guess you can get a new room by yourself.
A: I can't afford it. Ugh, I hate her so much.
B: It's okay. The year will be over before you know it.
A: Are you okay? You look really sad.
B: I'm homesick. I feel so out of place here.
A: But this college is so awesome.
B: I know, but I really miss home.
A: How far do you live?
B: Far. Let's just say I need an airplane to get there.
A: It's almost winter break. Hang in there.
B: I don't think I can handle it anymore.
A: Try calling your friends and family from your hometown.
B: I don't want them to worry about me.
A: Just call them. Don't you want to stop feeling sad?
B: Okay, I'll call them now.
A: I was wondering if I could change my major from biology to political science.
B: Those majors are very different from each other.
A: I know, but I hate biology. I can't see myself studying it anymore.
B: You can change it, but you'll have to take more classes.
A: I don't mind. Political science is really interesting to me.
B: You would be graduating a year late.
A: Oh, no. I have to think a little more about this then.
B: I think you should change it, since you hate biology.
A: Yeah, you're right. I'm sorry I am so indecisive.
B: A lot of people change majors. It's normal.
A: But not as late as I did. I hate that I'm graduating after all my friends.
B: You're making the right choice.
A: I have decided to drop out of college.
B: You're making the worst decision of your life.
A: I just don't get the point of college. It's just memorizing.
B: What are you going to do then?
A: I'm going to get a job!
B: As what? A burger flipper?
A: Don't be mean. I'm going to be rich and successful when I'm older.
B: It's almost impossible to be rich and successful without a college degree.
A: Look at Steve Jobs! He dropped out of college.
B: He's a rare case.
A: Watch me prove you wrong.
B: I'd like to see you try.
A: I gained so much weight because my college dining hall is all-you-can-eat.
B: It's called the "freshman 15."
A: What is that exactly?
B: It's an expression to refer to the observation that many college freshmen gain weight.
A: Oh, I see. I definitely got the freshman 15 then.
B: You should use your college's gym.
A: I never have time.
B: Oh, please! You just have to make time.
A: I guess I should set an hour to work out.
B: That's the attitude I like to hear!
A: Did you gain any weight?
B: Yeah, I just wear big clothes to hide my fat.